Al Gore Is An Idiot

It is official. Al gore is the biggest liar on the face of the earth. Him and Roger Clemens think they are fooling everyone. They aren't. Global warming? Really? It is almost February and we are getting ten inches of snow here IN THE MID-WEST! Bring those polar bears to Youngstown, Ohio and they will be fine from December-April.

Basketball night is cancelled due to Boardman schools closing. It's the right choice. No one should be driving right now.

Snow days were the best in the middle school days though. Obviously you couldn't drive yet because you aren't old enough, but also because you still want to go out and play. What a great time it was to play football in the snow. Sure you can only run about 1/2 a mph but same with everyone else. It leveled the playing field for the slow kids and gave them a chance to light people up. Snow ball fight in the middle of the game? Always.

This is how football is supposed to be played. The Super Bowl needs to get away from wanting to please everyone except for the fans who's teams are actually playing in the game and have a venue that is cold and snowy host it. I would love to see the Super Bowl played in Alaska.

After this weekend football will be over for the year. That sucks bad. It is the in-between time which is full of unexciting NBA games, not-quite-serious-enough-yet college basketball, and baseball is too far to even start getting excited for. Hell, I don't even know who I am rooting for yet since no one has signed Manny.

Rumor has it that the Mets would love to see him in their line-up. I could deal with that even though I hate everything about New York. At least it isn't the evil New York team and it will make Gator happy if someone else he knows roots for the New York Mets.

Bounce.

Why?

Been gone for a while. Not really all that busy, just not in the mood to write anything. I've read a ton of stuff, and still haven't wanted to write. I know all 6of you have missed me but I am back now.

Even being gone for over a week, I don't have much to talk about. I went to the mall yesterday by myself to return a shirt I had gotten for Christmas. Some people out there, like the lady behind the register, will say "What took you so long!?" Shut up. I just didn't feel like going to the stupid mall how about that? Now that I had to go to pick something up maybe it would be the perfect time to return it!

Of course I gave her the "I just got back in town since Christmas and was hoping it would be ok...". Which it wasn't. No receipt, no return. After I explained I got it in an anonymous gift exchange (actually got it from my parents), she fake smiled and said "I'm sorry, I still need the receipt." After a long conversation of the tag is still on it and all I don't even want the money for it, I want to get something else, I finally threw in the towel.

My question is why? Why can't they take the shirt back? It's not like they would never sell a shirt like that, because they did. Does this girl making minimum wage take classes to become dumb and bitchy?

I got my bourbon chicken and bounced. I hate the mall and the Steelers.

Genius

My picks for Chmpionship weekend were pretty dead on. A couple points here or there but I was right for the most part. All weekend I was more intrigued by players I had on my playoff fantasy roster rather than the actual games themselves. I did find myself rooting for the Cardinals though because if they can do it, hell I guess the Browns can (no shot).

I trail by 18 points going into the Super Bowl and it is a heads up match, my Kurt Warner vs. the evil (slow) Willie Parker. With our whacky scoring system it could easily happen.

Gator emailed me the "new and improved" version of "Here We Go Steelers". This team song is quite possibly the most catchy but most annoying song in the history of team songs.

Basketball is being played tonight. Stoked!

Voting Post

Time for readers to decide...

Most memorable sports photo of 2008?

Michael Phelps and the U.S. relay team coming back to beat the French.

Usain Bolt blowing the rest of the world away.

David Tyree's catch on the final drive in the Super Bowl.

Jon Lester throwing a no hitter a year after battling cancer.

Mario Chalmer's shot to send the Championship game into overtime.

Wednesday Night Basketball Recap

I'm finding it hard to get around today after an intense night of basketball. Missing my meniscus and PCL in my right knee should probably keep me limited to how much time I bang on the court. Forget that though. Knee hurting and knee throbbing after the first game, I continued on. I have to say I played above decent for the second week in a row. Playing well through this torture made me feel like Jordan when he had a fever of 102 in the NBA Finals and still dominated. Alright well maybe not that good but a kid can dream right?

Much of the night I had the pleasure of guarding the Jewish form of Ben Wallace. Or so he thought because he told us he is growing out his jewfro. It turns out he was probably the furthest thing from Ben, as he stood behind the 3-point line all night waiting to shoot. In game 1 he sunk one in my eye. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, well that isn't going to happen. He went scoreless the rest of the night while I was on him.

I liked guarding him though as it kept me out of the lane, since we had a guest appearance by the Ram who took up much of the court. I hadn't seen the Ram in about 4 years and didn't recognize him at first because he looked like he belonged in a WWE Royal Rumble (coming up soon!!!). Still one of the most humble kids to talk to.

All in all it was a fun night. Some good hoopage was played and there were no major incidents (the hole in the ceiling I accidentally kicked the ball through was minor, I didn't even kick it that hard, Center sucks anyway). Gator and Jr were on the same team with me the whole time so it kept it pretty tame. Our team probably had the least talent overall but definitely the most hustle leading to...

MVP: Our entire team.

Divisional Weekend

I spent most of the weekend watching nearly every second of all four football games this weekend. I enjoyed it greatly, but I can't say the same for my girlfriend who truly believes that football has ruined her life and can't wait for February 2nd.

For some stupid reason, I got talked into watching the Sunday games at Steamers, a Bar & Grill owned by a Steelers fan. I thought it might be fun to go there and just be with people who enjoy playoff football. Well, I am an idiot. I hate Steelers fans worse than most other sports fans and it got even worse Sunday. It all started with the dumb songs they played at a volume that everyone agreed was way too loud. Songs like "The Pittsburgh Polka", "Big, Bad, Ben", and "Here We Go Steelers" (which needs updated) played the entire 20 minutes before the game, after every score, during halftime, and after the game. It made me feel like I was in the movie A Clockwork Orange. Being in a block pool made me stay there until the end and almost persuaded me to slit my wrists north/south.

Steelers fans make it easy to hate them too. Like the idiot at the bar who kept yelling "FIRE IN THE HOLE" every time the Steelers threw a pass over 5 yards. It makes a lot of sense right? So of course others started yelling it every time as well. Even better was the guy at the bar that we named Mike Tomlin, who after every good defensive play he would then stand up, point to someone across the bar, and then raise both arms flexing. He did a great job stopping the San Diego offense so he had the right to do this.

All in all I got drunk and had a fish sandwich that was so big that it's illegal in Rhode Island. This weekend should be about the same, minus the hell hole. Congratulations to the Steelers on their Super Bowl victory this year, and to Mike Tomlin flexing at Steamers. Fire in the hole!

My picks:
Pittsburgh 23 - Baltimore 17
Arizona 33 - Philadelphia 24

...and boom goes the dynamite.

It started as a typical mid week day as I left work and was heading home in the snow to go to the gym. On my way I get a call from the Gator, which is very unusual now days, to see if I wanted to join along in playing some open gym basketball at BCMS (weak, go Glenwood!). I believe he was surprised to hear my positive answer because normally I decline to play full court driveway ball at his house.

After being pushed back to 9:00 instead of 8:30 and having to play in the downstairs gym for half an hour (adding to Center sucking), we started to hoop it up. Inspired by Titus, I continued to tell people how "wet my j" was (I didn't play the first game because I wasn't one of the first 10 out of 14 to make a free throw).

While sitting there I thought to myself "don't embarrass yourself, just pass the ball and stand in one spot", but of course I began to throw that round thing toward the round thing. I actually surprised myself a little bit by making some tough shots and lay-ups. These cancelled out all of the easy ass shots that I've missed in my career.

Things got chippy toward the end with Gator and Jr., but when you're playing open gym basketball where everyone is between the ages of 22-35 you will have that. Us 22's think that these old men can't hang with us and those 35's think that we think we're hot shit. Well, we're both right which forces wrongs.

I can't wait to get back to it next Wednesday night.

MVP: Javis

See ya later, dude.

It came! It finally came!!!

My college diploma came in the mail yesterday because I decided I didn't want to do the whole "Oh my god I can't believe it's over" things with my parents. Talk about overrated.

Can you think of a more fun way to spend a spring if you are a baseball lover than being an assistant coach of a freshman team? Talk about bottom of the barrel. But the thing is, what a great time it will be. Get to see kids who should be good by now, continue to be bad. Don't have to worry about making line-up cards and knowing all the signs. Don't have to worry about anyone under me taking my job. Anyway, I'm stoked.

Change

I'm not a big fan of change. Though I have a great time drinking and pretending like I care about watching the ball drop, I think that New Years Eve is the most overrated night of the year. I would be happy laying on the couch watching college football and SportsCenter's Year in Review.

ESPN.com has been dismantled and I don't like it one bit. The old webpage was simply that, a webpage. It was easy to view and find things you wanted to know and read. This new thing they got going on is a little too much. I was trying to look up the remaining free agents in baseball and somehow wound up clicking on a video about the Yankee dynasty (can anyone remember that far back?).

Anyone up for a petition on getting the old ESPN.com back? While we're at it facebook.com as well.

Tonight is the Fiesta Bowl where ESPN is letting everyone know that "Both teams have something to prove." What is that? That they both played really well this year and are rewarded by playing in a BCS game? No, we're going to dwell on the bad things for the teams instead because everyone seems to hate these two schools more than any other in the country.

I wore an Ohio State jersey to work today, which is natural for Buckeye fans to do the day of a big game right? WRONG. It is pretty lenient around our office but somehow the topic of discussion has to be that I am wearing a football jersey. Did someone draw a swastika on my back or something?

I may be the only that believe the Buckeyes have a change tonight so I put money on them to win straight up. Just to cover my ass I also played them to cover. What's the worst that could happen? Oh, right...

"With all due respect, those are two great programs, I don't think anybody can beat the Trojans."
-USC coach Pete Carroll

"Umm what as that?"
-Oregon State coach Mike Riley